Hooray! Somehow I'm finally getting the hang of it.
This week, I managed to:
1. Teach my son how to sip his drink through the straw.
2. Use a potty trainer. (Hooray!)
3. Get him to acknowledge my authority as his parent. (I use the counting rule to warn him.)
My advice to all parents patience. Patience. Patience.
What are your parenting accomplishments this week?
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Dating With No Yaya
Taking care of kids can be too stressful. So I was grateful that my husband took the time off to spend some quality time with me and our son. I must admit that it's been a while since I got to leave the house.
A few things can make me happy lately. I don't know if it's because I don't have much to do aside from taking care of my son and doing household chores. Lately, I've been very much into the whole who's dating who and I get giddy with the latest soap operas. Yeah, I must be really bored.
I wanted to try doing exercises but I just don't have the time to do it. If I do wake up early to do the things I want to do for myself, that would be a nightmare since my kid lately gets his sleep at 11 P.M. (Talk about sleep deprivation!)
So imagine, how happy I was to find out that we were going out. Even if it meant taking our son with us, it was okay. A change in environment would be good.
Here are some tips on how to still have your dates even without the nanny.
1. Plan your vacations
In the Philippines, where long weekends due to holidays are common, it is a great opportunity to take the time off and plan family vacations. Whether it's a staycation on a hotel or an out of town trip, this would be a great chance for you to explore and have a time off.
2. Have a movie date
If your child is old enough not to be rowdy in cinemas, then why not watch a movie.
3. Visit the museum or go biking
It's always great to have some little culture. Relish in the great works of various artists in the museum or go on a nature trip on wheels.
A few things can make me happy lately. I don't know if it's because I don't have much to do aside from taking care of my son and doing household chores. Lately, I've been very much into the whole who's dating who and I get giddy with the latest soap operas. Yeah, I must be really bored.
I wanted to try doing exercises but I just don't have the time to do it. If I do wake up early to do the things I want to do for myself, that would be a nightmare since my kid lately gets his sleep at 11 P.M. (Talk about sleep deprivation!)
So imagine, how happy I was to find out that we were going out. Even if it meant taking our son with us, it was okay. A change in environment would be good.
Here are some tips on how to still have your dates even without the nanny.
1. Plan your vacations
In the Philippines, where long weekends due to holidays are common, it is a great opportunity to take the time off and plan family vacations. Whether it's a staycation on a hotel or an out of town trip, this would be a great chance for you to explore and have a time off.
2. Have a movie date
If your child is old enough not to be rowdy in cinemas, then why not watch a movie.
3. Visit the museum or go biking
It's always great to have some little culture. Relish in the great works of various artists in the museum or go on a nature trip on wheels.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Pregnant
As the saying goes, you'll never miss the water until it's gone perfectly summarizes my whole situation.
In the Philippines, where the whole country is Pro-Life and very conservative, sex is not likely a much talked about issue. Many women in my country would be pregnant by the age of 14 and give birth almost every year.
I strongly believe that this is due to the lack of education in areas that would greatly affect their future. I believe that it is imperative that the church and state would educate the next generation of the real situation, possibilities and options in the subject of sex. This would in turn, help them to make informed decisions.
Here are the things that I wish I knew before I got pregnant.
1. Doing it once is enough
Yeah. A one time sex can already lead to pregnancy.
2. There are options for unwanted pregnancy
Seriously, there are contraceptives that are only available in pharmacies. However, be warned that when you ask for these things on the counter, you get judgmental looks not only from fellow consumers but also from the front liner of the pharmacy. My advice, disregard those looks. You'll have much more things to be ashamed of if you get pregnant.
3. Taking Care of Babies is not at look like Playtime with Teddy
We were all given teddy bears and dolls that we had to look after when we were young. It's like they were already training us of the norm that female are the ones responsible for child rearing. Therefore, parents must talk to children and explain to them that taking care of babies is entirely different from taking care of a doll.
4. Taking care of the kids is easier when you're grown up
Wrong. You will never be prepared. You learn in the process. You become someone who is stronger, makes mistakes and learns from them. It isn't true that when you're in your 30's raising a kid is easier. It's a matter of planning and learning.
Someday, when my son is all grown up and ready to understand things, I hope that he will live in an environment where he is informed and well educated about this matter. I don't want him to turn up like me. Having hardships and having an unplanned family. I want him to have a life that he and his family could enjoy.
In the Philippines, where the whole country is Pro-Life and very conservative, sex is not likely a much talked about issue. Many women in my country would be pregnant by the age of 14 and give birth almost every year.
I strongly believe that this is due to the lack of education in areas that would greatly affect their future. I believe that it is imperative that the church and state would educate the next generation of the real situation, possibilities and options in the subject of sex. This would in turn, help them to make informed decisions.
Here are the things that I wish I knew before I got pregnant.
1. Doing it once is enough
Yeah. A one time sex can already lead to pregnancy.
2. There are options for unwanted pregnancy
Seriously, there are contraceptives that are only available in pharmacies. However, be warned that when you ask for these things on the counter, you get judgmental looks not only from fellow consumers but also from the front liner of the pharmacy. My advice, disregard those looks. You'll have much more things to be ashamed of if you get pregnant.
3. Taking Care of Babies is not at look like Playtime with Teddy
We were all given teddy bears and dolls that we had to look after when we were young. It's like they were already training us of the norm that female are the ones responsible for child rearing. Therefore, parents must talk to children and explain to them that taking care of babies is entirely different from taking care of a doll.
4. Taking care of the kids is easier when you're grown up
Wrong. You will never be prepared. You learn in the process. You become someone who is stronger, makes mistakes and learns from them. It isn't true that when you're in your 30's raising a kid is easier. It's a matter of planning and learning.
Someday, when my son is all grown up and ready to understand things, I hope that he will live in an environment where he is informed and well educated about this matter. I don't want him to turn up like me. Having hardships and having an unplanned family. I want him to have a life that he and his family could enjoy.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Beware of the Bad Nanny
I've been preoccupied lately which is why this post is quite late. We got a call like two weeks ago that a nanny was willing to work for us. I can literally hear the Hallelujah Chorus when I found out. But sadly, this does not have a happy ending.
The nanny let's call her Rhea S. started to work with us on a Thursday. She was 19 and was a Bisaya but she's been living in Manila for quite sometime now. I asked her to bring the requirements (NBI, Birth Certificate) that I asked her to bring but she said she did not have any. I told her I'll just get those for her. She performed her duties as she was told. However we were surprised to have an unexpected male visitor from her one very early Sunday morning.
The male visitor let's call him Raul B. introduced himself as a relative of Rhea. He said that he has to take Rhea home to the province so she can take care of her sister who had just given birth. My husband told Raul to talk to Rhea about it. Rhea then. voluntarily left with Raul. Although, her leaving would mean that I would have to look for a new nanny again we couldn't force her to stay.
An hour later, I started to receive phone calls and text messages from an unknown number. I answered and I found out that it was Raul. He said that he's the husband of Rhea. He said that he will go back to the house and bring six men with him so my husband will admit what he did to Rhea. I was asking what my husband did but he said that he would like to talk to my husband.
Raul was claiming that Rhea was raped or harassed and that it happened at midnight. I told him this is not true since I was still awake at midnight and when I fell asleep I even rose up to turn off the AC at 1:30 A.M. Raul even said that Rhea was already pregnant and that he even heard what allegedly happened to my husband and Rhea through his phone since he called that time.
I was filled with fear then. My husband and I went to the Brgy. Hall and police station to file a formal complaint against Rhea and Raul. Even when we were at the police station Raul was calling my husband and the police heard what he was saying.
It was clear that all they wanted was money from us. I felt afraid and lost. This is a nightmare! I thought.
Here are some tips that the police gave us when hiring helpers.
1. Always ask for the NBI, Birth Certificate and any valid ID prior to acceptance of the maid.
2. Interview the maid thoroughly. Observe whether her answers are consistent or if she says it like it was practiced.
3. When your helper decides to leave you, go to the Brgy. Hall to have a formal documentation that your helper is leaving and that she did not have any injuries when she left or that she doesn't owe you money.
Trust me these tips are helpful. I just found out from a friend that his lola was also a victim of this modus. But this time the nanny complained that she was mistreated.
We are just waiting for the next steps to be taken against my former nanny and her boyfriend (we found out they weren't married but were cohabitating) but they've already stopped calling and texting us.
I'm just blessed and thankful that we're still alive and that my family is still intact. Just like what my friend said, I need to stay positive, move on and hope for the best.
Did you ever have a bad experience with a nanny? Share your story.
The nanny let's call her Rhea S. started to work with us on a Thursday. She was 19 and was a Bisaya but she's been living in Manila for quite sometime now. I asked her to bring the requirements (NBI, Birth Certificate) that I asked her to bring but she said she did not have any. I told her I'll just get those for her. She performed her duties as she was told. However we were surprised to have an unexpected male visitor from her one very early Sunday morning.
The male visitor let's call him Raul B. introduced himself as a relative of Rhea. He said that he has to take Rhea home to the province so she can take care of her sister who had just given birth. My husband told Raul to talk to Rhea about it. Rhea then. voluntarily left with Raul. Although, her leaving would mean that I would have to look for a new nanny again we couldn't force her to stay.
An hour later, I started to receive phone calls and text messages from an unknown number. I answered and I found out that it was Raul. He said that he's the husband of Rhea. He said that he will go back to the house and bring six men with him so my husband will admit what he did to Rhea. I was asking what my husband did but he said that he would like to talk to my husband.
Raul was claiming that Rhea was raped or harassed and that it happened at midnight. I told him this is not true since I was still awake at midnight and when I fell asleep I even rose up to turn off the AC at 1:30 A.M. Raul even said that Rhea was already pregnant and that he even heard what allegedly happened to my husband and Rhea through his phone since he called that time.
I was filled with fear then. My husband and I went to the Brgy. Hall and police station to file a formal complaint against Rhea and Raul. Even when we were at the police station Raul was calling my husband and the police heard what he was saying.
It was clear that all they wanted was money from us. I felt afraid and lost. This is a nightmare! I thought.
Here are some tips that the police gave us when hiring helpers.
1. Always ask for the NBI, Birth Certificate and any valid ID prior to acceptance of the maid.
2. Interview the maid thoroughly. Observe whether her answers are consistent or if she says it like it was practiced.
3. When your helper decides to leave you, go to the Brgy. Hall to have a formal documentation that your helper is leaving and that she did not have any injuries when she left or that she doesn't owe you money.
Trust me these tips are helpful. I just found out from a friend that his lola was also a victim of this modus. But this time the nanny complained that she was mistreated.
We are just waiting for the next steps to be taken against my former nanny and her boyfriend (we found out they weren't married but were cohabitating) but they've already stopped calling and texting us.
I'm just blessed and thankful that we're still alive and that my family is still intact. Just like what my friend said, I need to stay positive, move on and hope for the best.
Did you ever have a bad experience with a nanny? Share your story.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
House chores: Will it ever stop?
I was sitting by the stairs. Watching the pile of dirty laundry, the unwashed dishes, the muddy floor and the toys scattered around the house. I was figuring out what to do first. Do I cook breakfast first, then give my son a bath, then do all the chores?
Then I sighed in exhaustion. Will the pile of dirty laundry ever stop from piling? Will I ever get a day when I will just wake up, eat my breakfast and juts sit around maybe read a book or two.
But alas, I find myself sweating badly and looking at what I had accomplished. I was able to manage and do everything in my what to do today list. I knew a nice long bath would be a great reward for this. I was about to do it, when my son heard me coming inside the bathroom and he hurried on following me.
Waaah! Do I ever get a break?
Then the evening comes, and my husband comes home from work. As usual he would put his shoes under the sofa, throw his used shirt near the laundry basket and ask what's for dinner. I breathed hard and told myself not to snap. But I did. I was like an angry bear growling in anger. I couldn't stop nagging about how his actions give me extra work.
My instant reaction was, oh my God I was becoming one of those wives who nags and couldn't even take a good bath.
But I look at son, who still adores me. He looks at me constantly. Regardless if I'm sweating or I haven't take a bath yet, he smiled up to his ears and embraces me. Occasionally, he would kiss me on the lips then embrace. Then I know, it was all worth it.
Maybe it's true what they say. You never know what unconditional love is until you become a mother. They will never know the sacrifices you made. You just hang on to the hope that someday they would become the best person they could be and hopefully always eager to come home to the people who raised and love them dearly.
Then I sighed in exhaustion. Will the pile of dirty laundry ever stop from piling? Will I ever get a day when I will just wake up, eat my breakfast and juts sit around maybe read a book or two.
But alas, I find myself sweating badly and looking at what I had accomplished. I was able to manage and do everything in my what to do today list. I knew a nice long bath would be a great reward for this. I was about to do it, when my son heard me coming inside the bathroom and he hurried on following me.
Waaah! Do I ever get a break?
Then the evening comes, and my husband comes home from work. As usual he would put his shoes under the sofa, throw his used shirt near the laundry basket and ask what's for dinner. I breathed hard and told myself not to snap. But I did. I was like an angry bear growling in anger. I couldn't stop nagging about how his actions give me extra work.
My instant reaction was, oh my God I was becoming one of those wives who nags and couldn't even take a good bath.
But I look at son, who still adores me. He looks at me constantly. Regardless if I'm sweating or I haven't take a bath yet, he smiled up to his ears and embraces me. Occasionally, he would kiss me on the lips then embrace. Then I know, it was all worth it.
Maybe it's true what they say. You never know what unconditional love is until you become a mother. They will never know the sacrifices you made. You just hang on to the hope that someday they would become the best person they could be and hopefully always eager to come home to the people who raised and love them dearly.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Help Wanted!
I was about to thank heaven for hearing my prayer of finding a good nanny for my child when alas, the nanny backed out.
Really, I've been wracking my brains out figuring out why these things are happening to me. Everything seemed to not go according to how I want it to happen. I was about to land on a job when my nanny did not return from her vacation. Just when I found another nanny, she backed out and I had to postpone or cancel my job interviews again.
I remember myself saying "Lord is this a sign? Do really want me to be a stay at home mom?" There's nothing wrong about being a stay at home mom really. But I don't know if it's really good for me. If you were able to watch Sex and the City 2 (the movie), there was one part there when Charlotte and Miranda talked about their experiences on motherhood. Miranda told her friend that everything that she used to miss when she had a job (such as parent-teachers meeting, school parties, watching her son perform on stage) she can now witness. But as much as she loved his son, she missed her job badly.
That's exactly how I feel. I love my son to death. But as much as I love him, I miss my job. I miss the daily banters at work. I miss the challenge. I miss working. I feel like I'm getting rustic, old and pathetic day by day. I feel like my IQ is slipping away. Now I get excited by soap operas. I'm curious about who my next door neighbor is currently dating. I'm bored and I'm dying to find something exciting. Am I awful for feeling this way?
I tried talking to my husband about it. But he's so cool about it. Telling me that this would go away soon and just for me to keep on praying. I don't think nobody really knows what I'm feeling or going through.
Maybe, I should really learn to let go. To really embrace my current situation and just accept whatever it is God is offering me. Maybe I should listen more so I could clearly hear Him speak what His plan is for me. I must be babbling too much during my prayers that I forgot to listen to Him.
I hope I get a sign soon. I feel like I slumped. Lord help me to find joy in what I do. I'm beginning to dread it. I feel so frustrated, I literally shouted in my bedroom this morning.
Really, I've been wracking my brains out figuring out why these things are happening to me. Everything seemed to not go according to how I want it to happen. I was about to land on a job when my nanny did not return from her vacation. Just when I found another nanny, she backed out and I had to postpone or cancel my job interviews again.
I remember myself saying "Lord is this a sign? Do really want me to be a stay at home mom?" There's nothing wrong about being a stay at home mom really. But I don't know if it's really good for me. If you were able to watch Sex and the City 2 (the movie), there was one part there when Charlotte and Miranda talked about their experiences on motherhood. Miranda told her friend that everything that she used to miss when she had a job (such as parent-teachers meeting, school parties, watching her son perform on stage) she can now witness. But as much as she loved his son, she missed her job badly.
That's exactly how I feel. I love my son to death. But as much as I love him, I miss my job. I miss the daily banters at work. I miss the challenge. I miss working. I feel like I'm getting rustic, old and pathetic day by day. I feel like my IQ is slipping away. Now I get excited by soap operas. I'm curious about who my next door neighbor is currently dating. I'm bored and I'm dying to find something exciting. Am I awful for feeling this way?
I tried talking to my husband about it. But he's so cool about it. Telling me that this would go away soon and just for me to keep on praying. I don't think nobody really knows what I'm feeling or going through.
Maybe, I should really learn to let go. To really embrace my current situation and just accept whatever it is God is offering me. Maybe I should listen more so I could clearly hear Him speak what His plan is for me. I must be babbling too much during my prayers that I forgot to listen to Him.
I hope I get a sign soon. I feel like I slumped. Lord help me to find joy in what I do. I'm beginning to dread it. I feel so frustrated, I literally shouted in my bedroom this morning.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Mommy Passed On the Trophy
I mentioned on my previous posts that I was the type of person who would literally go about any workplace challenge, take on any work assignments and deliver beyond what is expected when it comes to my career.
Today marks a turning point in my career. I was offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to work in a company that is included in Forbes Asia's Best Companies. I was offered the same job twice and I turned it down twice.
I didn't intend to turn it down the second time. But because I couldn't find a replacement for my nanny (who left without even notifying us) I had to turn down the job. I tried every relative, every friend who could accommodate my son even for just a week while I look for a new nanny, but to no avail.
I couldn't help but cry. I cried my heart out on passing out on an opportunity that I know would give me a whole new advantage on my career. I was literally tossing and turning on what to do.
I know the implications of my actions might get be blacklisted but at the time all I ever thought was the welfare of my son. The thought of leaving my son, of not being able to see how he is or what he's doing was killing me. I couldn't stand the thought that I would have to leave him to work.
I thought to myself "Is this really what motherhood is all about? About making sacrifices?" I mean here is my son with his innocent look on his face and he doesn't even know what's going on. I felt that I could give anything for my son. I can pass on any job but my heart will always belong with my son. I will always be on the lookout for what's going to be the best for him and not for myself.
I guess this is selfless and unconditional love discovered. No regrets whatsoever as long as I see that smile on my son's face.
Today marks a turning point in my career. I was offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to work in a company that is included in Forbes Asia's Best Companies. I was offered the same job twice and I turned it down twice.
I didn't intend to turn it down the second time. But because I couldn't find a replacement for my nanny (who left without even notifying us) I had to turn down the job. I tried every relative, every friend who could accommodate my son even for just a week while I look for a new nanny, but to no avail.
I couldn't help but cry. I cried my heart out on passing out on an opportunity that I know would give me a whole new advantage on my career. I was literally tossing and turning on what to do.
I know the implications of my actions might get be blacklisted but at the time all I ever thought was the welfare of my son. The thought of leaving my son, of not being able to see how he is or what he's doing was killing me. I couldn't stand the thought that I would have to leave him to work.
I thought to myself "Is this really what motherhood is all about? About making sacrifices?" I mean here is my son with his innocent look on his face and he doesn't even know what's going on. I felt that I could give anything for my son. I can pass on any job but my heart will always belong with my son. I will always be on the lookout for what's going to be the best for him and not for myself.
I guess this is selfless and unconditional love discovered. No regrets whatsoever as long as I see that smile on my son's face.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)